Sermons at St. John’s Presbyterian Church

If you can’t be with the one you love, love the one you’re with.

Transcribed from the sermon preached May 14, 2007

 The Reverend Max Lynn, Pastor

St. John’s Presbyterian Church

2727 College Avenue, Berkeley, CA 94705

Telephone 510-845-6830    Fax 510-845-6837

Scripture ReadingsJohn 19:25-27, Phil. 4:4-8

A woman came into my office to complain about her husband. He sits around drinking beer and watching TV day in and day out. Then he does one little thing and expects me to pat him on the back. He doesn't see that each day there is an endless series of chores. Now the men are thinking, he's quit preaching and gone to meddling.

The three boys in our house have assigned days for doing the dishes.  There is a blessing and a curse that goes along with the assignment.  For if mom asks for a little extra curricular help, she might hear, " Mom, it’s not my time".

You may remember the first scene with Mary in John’s Gospel, Jesus says the same thing to his mom.  It is at the wedding at Cana.  Mary pesters her son because the wedding party was about out of wine.  Jesus replies, “Woman, what concern is that to me and you.  My hour has not yet come.”

This is said in such a way that it seems Mary is in the know from the beginning.  She knows her son has a special role to play, but that doesn’t mean he can’t be helpful along the way.  His hour had not yet come, but his mom got him to help with the wine anyway.

Today we come to Mary’s second appearance in John’s Gospel, at the cross.  This time, it would appear, his hour has come.  As Barbara Brown Taylor points out, “It is the wine of his blood that is running out this time, right there were she can smell it.  Fortunately she is not alone.  Her sister is there, along with Mary Magdalene and Mary the wife of Clopas.  The beloved disciple is also with her – a man who is never named in John’s Gospel, although he appears at least five times.  Jesus love for him is the only thing that matters, apparently.  That is his only identity: that Jesus loves him.  We don’t even know why.”

Taylor, a great American storyteller continues to lay the scene out for us: “Although they are near enough to hear him, he does not seem to see them at first.  There is a lot going on.  The soldiers are dividing up his clothes into four piles: robe, prayer shawl, belt, sandals.  Passers-by are straining to make out the sign over his head while the chief priests are arguing that Pilate should change what it says.

“But finally Jesus does see them, and when he does, he speaks.  First he looks at his mother.  ‘Woman,’ he says – the same thing he called her before, at the wedding – ‘Woman, here is your son.’  Then he looks at the disciple standing beside her and says to him, ‘Here is your mother.”  Since his hands are not free he has to do a lot of work with his eyes, indicating which woman and which man.  When he is through, the adoption is final.  From that hour, John says, the beloved disciple took Jesus’ mother into his own home.

“It is a gesture of surpassing sweetness, and yet you have to wonder which way it went.  Was Jesus looking out for his mother or for his disciple?  Who needed whom more?

“That Jesus places his mother in the care of his disciple is our clue that she is a widow.  Although Joseph is mentioned twice by name, he never shows up in John’s gospel at all.  He has presumably died by the time Jesus reaches adulthood, which makes Mary an ‘almana,’ or widow, whose status depends on the surviving members of her husband’s household.”  She is running out of surviving members.  So it is a gesture of love for his mother for Jesus to give her another son.

 

It is also a gesture of love to give the disciple a mother, his mother.  She has been through a thing or two, and intimately knows of the Holy Spirit, of birthing God.  That will certainly come in handy when the other disciples come out of hiding.  In their heart wrenching, life draining shame and grief, she will help them be born again, to become the family of God.

 

I have mentioned before that the notion put forth by the novel the da Vinci Code, that Jesus fathered a child with Mary Magdalene, is far from radical and not a threat to the Church.  It doesn’t matter, because the family of God is no longer defined by bloodline.  Royalty and family and power based on bloodline would be the same old story that wine that runs out even before the wedding party is over.

Isn’t it interesting that John picks wine as the opening miracle and metaphor in his gospel?   The wine Jesus brings is better, than the wine that ran out.  Good wine gets better with age.  The implication is that the new wine Jesus brings is not new; it has been around a while. As John says, He was with God in the beginning.  Through him all things were made; without him nothing has been made that was made.  In him was life, and that life was the light of all human beings.

At root we are all related.  I am the vine; you are the branches. We are all mothers and daughters, fathers and sons, brothers and sisters.  Every woman is our mother, every child our son or daughter.  It is true that as limited human beings we can only care for a small number of people effectively.  We can’t be all places at all times.  We can’t be all things for all people.  We can imagine that some of the disciples fled from political turmoil surrounding Jesus death because they felt obligated to stick around and care for their own families, their own children, and their own mothers.  So too, amongst his executioners, a few enemies and looki-loos, Jesus died accompanied by his mother and aunt, and three beloved friends.

Some of us too, were not around when someone we loved and cared for and believed in died, and we know the anguish of the disciples of Jesus felt when he arrived to find Lazarus already in the tomb.  Was there something left unsaid, undone?  Was there something we think we could have said or done if we would have been there? 

It is amazing how often such issues of unresolved grief pop up in our lives in other forms of conflict with other people.  But the wine Jesus brings, the forgiveness and grace of his blood calls us to reconnect with the light of all life. 

Crosby, Stills, Nash and Young have a great song entitled, “If you can’t be with the one you love, honey, love the one you’re with.”  In our second passage this morning Paul seems to be saying, life is too short, let all the anxiety go and rejoice.  Yes, choices have been made, we have not been all things to all people, we have hurt and been hurt, but in Christ Jesus we are forgiven.  Love now, love the ones you are with. By the grace of God we can resolve to let go of our side of the bitterness, our side of violence, our side of hatred and prejudice now. We may not have the Ozzie and Harriet family, we may not have had or been the best mother or the best son or daughter, husband or wife, the best Christian or the best American, but we can, to the best of our ability, love in this moment the people we find ourselves with.  We can be gentle now.  We can be positive now, no matter what our situation, and with prayer and petition and thanksgiving, present our requests to God.  If our daughter is not with us, then let us love and rejoice with our granddaughter.  If our kids have left the house or we never had kids, mother your niece or a refugee family from El Salvador.  If most of our life appears behind us, then let us give thanks for the good times, and live today as if God were near.  Even our last words can carry our love into eternity. 

          This last Thursday, I went with Karl up to see his mom Mary Williams.  Alzheimer’s is one of the most challenging diseases for loved ones.  How much of our identity is tied up in whom our mothers remember us to be?  And we wonder what is the value of our care when it doesn’t seem to last?  But in this moment there is comfort in love.  Whether we remember or not, whether we are headed to the mountaintop or the valley of the shadow of death, whether we are on the cross or on the throne, we can only be loving in the moment.   We cannot go back and stop our prejudice of yesterday; we cannot act to save the environment for our grandchildren tomorrow.  We cannot go back and rejoice; we cannot jump into the future to love.  Everyday we live is today.  Eternity is now.  We can only act and love, be faithful and rejoice today. 

          Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is admirable – if anything is excellent or praiseworthy – think about such things, and the God of peace will be with you.